I really liked your puns on last week's show on August 25th! Tell Ray you should keep the Daiquiri Doc one!
Here's my humble offering:
There was once a snail that was sick and tired of his reputationfor being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make upthe difference. After shopping around a while, he decided thatthe Datson 240Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to thenearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240Z, but hewants it repainted to read 240-S
The dealer asks, "Why?"
The snail replies, "S stands for snail. I want everybody whosees me roaring past to know who's driving."
Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity tosell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repaintedfor a small fee.
The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his daysroaring happily down the highway at top speed. And wheneveranyone would see him zooming by they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"
Keep up the good work!
John Latsha, P.E.
A frog goes into a bank. He waits his turn and hops to the nextopen teller, a one Ms. Wack. He requests a loan. She checks his info and informs him that the bank will require collateral. Hepromptly pulls a small statue from his pocket and places it onthe counter. Upon studying the statue she informs the frog thatthe bank won't accept it. But he is insistent, so she calls overthe bank manager. After Ms. Wack explains the situation,manager immediately replies, "It's a knick-knack Patty Wack, givethe frog a loan."
Hope you enjoy...
The Buckridge family, Anchorage, Alaska
All the employees of Car Talk were standing in the courtyard of Car Talk Plaza singing "Ave Maria" and singing it beautifully. Oddly, each of them was holding an apple in one hand and tapping it rhythmically with a pencil.
A visitor listened in wonderment to the performance and thenapproached the conductor of the choir. "I am a retired choirdirector," he said. "This is one of the best choirs I have everheard."
"Yes, I'm very proud of them," said the conductor.
"You should take them on tour," said the visitor, "what are theycalled?"
"Surely that's obvious," replied the conductor..."they're the Moron Tapanapple Choir."